 | Jokes To Tickle Your FunnyBone | |
| Boudreaux and Thibodeaux |
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The Underwear Workers Boudreaux and Thibodeaux found themselves out of a job when the underwear factory in Port Barre shut down. But their boss said they could go to the LSU office, you know, the Louisiana State Unemployment office. So as Thibodeaux waited, Boudreaux sat down at the desk and was interviewed by the lady there.
"And what was your former occupation?" she asked. "Me, I was a crotch stitcher. I specialized in ladies underpants." Boudreaux proudly replied. So the lady looks it up in her big book and says, "OK, you're eligible for $50 a week. "Hot damn, you mean I don't gotta do nothin' and I get $50 a week. Man, that even beats crawfishin'!" Boudreaux shouted.
Then Thibodeaux sat down and the lady asked him the same question. Thibodeaux looked her straight in the eye and said, "I was a diesel fitter." She looked it up in her big book again and said "Very good then, you're eligible for $200 a week in unemployment benifits."
"WAIT A HOT DAMN MINUTE!" Boudreaux shouted. "How come he gets $200 a week, and me, I only get $50? I told you I used to be a crotch stitcher; you know you gotta be real good to do that kind of work so the seams are all nice and straight and smooth so nothin scratches you done there. And Thibodeaux here, he's only a diesel fitter. And he's gonna make at least twice more than I'm making?"
"Oh," the lady replied, "but he's a skilled laborer with an education. Diesel fitters are in high demand especially by oilfields and heavy equipment users. There's not many diesel specialist around."
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, lady," Boudreaux continued, "you got it all wrong. Yeah, Thibo's a diesel fitter, all right. But what that means is that after I do all the fine work on the ladys drawers, he picks them up, looks 'em over and stretches them this way and that, and then says, 'Yep, dese'll fit her!'"
| Ten Reasons Why Studying Is Better Than Sex! |
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10. Can usually find someone to do it with you.
9. If you get tired, you can stop, save your place and pick up where you left off.
8. Can finish early without feeling guilty.
7. When you open a book, you don't have to worry who else has opened that book.
6. A little coffee and you can do it all night.
5. If you don't finish a chapter, you won't gain a reputation of being a "book teaser".
4. You can do it, watch tv, and scarf popcorn all at the same time.
3. Don't mind if your folks interrupt you in the middle.
2. Don't have to put your beer down to do it.
1. If you're not too sure what you are doing, you can always ask your roommate for help.
| Keen Country Lad |
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A keen country lad applied for a salesman's job at a city department store. In fact it was the biggest store in the world-you could get anything there
The boss asked him, "Have you ever been a salesman before?" "Yes, I was a salesman in the country" said the lad. The boss liked the cut of him and said, "You can start tomorrow and I'll come see you when we close up.
The day was long and arduous for the young man, but finally 5 o'clock came around. The boss duly fronted up and asked, "How many sales did you make today?" "One" said the young salesman. "Only one" blurted the boss, "Most of my staff make 20 or 30 sales a day. How much was the sale worth?" "Three hundred thousand, three hundred and thirty four dollars" said the young man. "How did you manage that?" asked the flabbergasted boss.
"Well" said the salesman "this man came in and I sold him a small fish hook, then a medium hook and finally a real large hook. Then I sold him a small fishing line, a medium one and a huge big one. I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down the coast. I said he would probably need a boat, so I took him down to the boat department and sold him that twenty foot schooner with the twin engines. Then he said his Volkswagon probably wouldn't be able to pull it, so I took him to the car department and sold him the new Deluxe Cruiser." The boss took two steps back and asked in astonishment, "You sold all that to a guy who came in for a fish hook?"
"No" answered the salesman, "He came in to buy a box of Tampons for his wife and I said to him, "Your weekend's shot, you may as well go fishing."
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